Belonging

It's mid-February now and I walk around the place where I work and feel strange. There are many reasons for this and yet the main reason is that I don't feel I belong.


Maybe I don't try hard enough.(but I do go to the canteen)
Maybe I keep to myself too much.(but I chat with most ppl)
Maybe I'm buried in my laptop all the time.( But..no buts here)
A million and one maybes..


Yet the solution is not clear cut.


I don't really need to belong. I would like to. But it isn't a necessity.
I haven't found anyone I'd like to stick to. Or vice versa.
Everyone seems fine saying hi and bye. 
Talk when we are free, not when we are not.


Even when I am not around, no one asks 'why' when I return. That to me shouts 'Who cares?'


Suffice to say 'I don't matter.'


And yet the class who hates learning actually asked 'Teacher, why didn't you come yesterday?'


Go figure!