The Silence was Loud
It has been ages since I verbalised my thoughts, only because I had lost the desire to be heard. After all, life has changed drastically over the last 11 months.
The journey has been challenging and a little tedious as I sought to rediscover myself in an entirely new environment - chucked out of my 'comfort' zone. However, looking back at 2011, there was nothing comfortable about it at all considering half the time I was silently praying to get out of the situation. I have since realised that God, the Almighty, hears all our prayers, reads all our desires said or unsaid. So be careful what we wish for.
For example, a few years back, I started a collective prayer to remove an unwanted force and lo and behold, the force was removed. Hallelujah for the power of prayer. However, for 2011, it was an unsaid prayer to get myself out of the equation of things, for I had for insight of things turning for the worse and as it happened, things have taken a turn for the worse and I am grateful that He has seen to it that I be removed from that awful equation.
So it is with relief that I report, 2012 has re-opened my eyes and heart to more pressing matters and reality of the education world, away from the ideal of an SBT school where money was never a problem. The real world is one where I, as well as my expertise, is much needed, to infuse a desire to better oneself in this harsh world. The challenge remains with the client, most of whom are myopic enough to just enjoy in the moment and not care for their own future. And this is where I have a role to play.
Of course, my career has suffered a dent. Being a newbie in the school (despite my 20 yrs of experience) has led many to believe I am to be orientated from ground level, to be ignored and to be bullied. I am all for learning new experiences but will not tolerate the bullying, be it emotionally or physically. I have established this fact in the course of my tenure here and I know that there are many eyes watching and ears listening to the things I do and say and even to the silence of my protests.
I have been tested again and again by many different factions of the establishment each time making me stronger. I have realised that silence and patience work as well as tantrums and shows of strength except that the latter leaves a nasty taste on people's palates. This is the perfect example of life long learning.
The only one true love that I have managed to maintain throughout the year is the fact that teaching is still my forte, especially for Literature. I was worried that I would lose touch with this aspect, but I have found students who need my assistance and that is the highlight of my week, always!
Then in August, I 'lost' my sister to a distant country. It felt like losing my right arm as she has seeped into every breath I take and every experience (personal and professional) of my life for the last 7 years. The discovery that every friendship is different was also highlighted. Who is important in our lives and where we stand in their lives was quite a revelation.
In the month of September, I was tempted by the opportunity to change my circumstances with a move. The crux of the problem remained - where? Where would I go? Surely if God has put me here, I have a job to do. Have I accomplished all that he has set out for me? If yes, I will be moved whether or not I seek it. If not, then I must persevere.
At this moment in time, I must say that the journey has been an enriching experience and I am sure next academic year will reveal more challenges and more responsibilities.
The journey has been challenging and a little tedious as I sought to rediscover myself in an entirely new environment - chucked out of my 'comfort' zone. However, looking back at 2011, there was nothing comfortable about it at all considering half the time I was silently praying to get out of the situation. I have since realised that God, the Almighty, hears all our prayers, reads all our desires said or unsaid. So be careful what we wish for.
For example, a few years back, I started a collective prayer to remove an unwanted force and lo and behold, the force was removed. Hallelujah for the power of prayer. However, for 2011, it was an unsaid prayer to get myself out of the equation of things, for I had for insight of things turning for the worse and as it happened, things have taken a turn for the worse and I am grateful that He has seen to it that I be removed from that awful equation.
So it is with relief that I report, 2012 has re-opened my eyes and heart to more pressing matters and reality of the education world, away from the ideal of an SBT school where money was never a problem. The real world is one where I, as well as my expertise, is much needed, to infuse a desire to better oneself in this harsh world. The challenge remains with the client, most of whom are myopic enough to just enjoy in the moment and not care for their own future. And this is where I have a role to play.
Of course, my career has suffered a dent. Being a newbie in the school (despite my 20 yrs of experience) has led many to believe I am to be orientated from ground level, to be ignored and to be bullied. I am all for learning new experiences but will not tolerate the bullying, be it emotionally or physically. I have established this fact in the course of my tenure here and I know that there are many eyes watching and ears listening to the things I do and say and even to the silence of my protests.
I have been tested again and again by many different factions of the establishment each time making me stronger. I have realised that silence and patience work as well as tantrums and shows of strength except that the latter leaves a nasty taste on people's palates. This is the perfect example of life long learning.
The only one true love that I have managed to maintain throughout the year is the fact that teaching is still my forte, especially for Literature. I was worried that I would lose touch with this aspect, but I have found students who need my assistance and that is the highlight of my week, always!
Then in August, I 'lost' my sister to a distant country. It felt like losing my right arm as she has seeped into every breath I take and every experience (personal and professional) of my life for the last 7 years. The discovery that every friendship is different was also highlighted. Who is important in our lives and where we stand in their lives was quite a revelation.
In the month of September, I was tempted by the opportunity to change my circumstances with a move. The crux of the problem remained - where? Where would I go? Surely if God has put me here, I have a job to do. Have I accomplished all that he has set out for me? If yes, I will be moved whether or not I seek it. If not, then I must persevere.
At this moment in time, I must say that the journey has been an enriching experience and I am sure next academic year will reveal more challenges and more responsibilities.
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